Saturday, August 3, 2013 | 17:39 | 0 comments
Rushing through
the endless darkness, her footsteps echoes along the empty void as her vision
begins to blur.
‘No! Not now!’
she thought as she slip and falls onto the damp ground.
Her vision
begins to fade as her eyelids begin to feel heavy while hearing whispers
echoing around her ears. Slowly reaching out her hand and grab onto the soggy
ground with all of her strength that she have left, she forcefully drags
herself to keep going as she begins to feel light-headed.
“N-No...I must
...” she mutters out weakly as her body trembles for strength and support.
In such a
weakening state, her body denies for anymore movement as she collapse onto the
ground with a heavy thud. Feeling her own beating heart beats slowly forming a
rhythm, her consciousness begins to fade, giving in to the darkness slowly as
her eyelids shuts.
~*~
Opening her eyes
slowly as she slightly groans from the ache of her body, she slowly sits up and
looks around as she could see trees and grasses.
“I...How...Where
am I!?” shouts Rin in slight panic as she tries to stand up even though it
aches like needles stabbing onto every inch of her body.
Slowly, taking
few steps as her legs tremble, she holds onto the nearest tree to support
herself to walk further into the woods as the sunlight shines down upon the
trees making everything around her looks bright and calm.
Amaze by the
remarkable scene of nature itself, Rin carves a warm smile upon her lips as she
continues to walk further more until she could find the exit from this
beautiful yet peaceful place.
After walking
for hours in the thick woods, she finally found the way out but... It is seal
off by fences.
Looking up at
the fence, Rin grumble as she could barely climb up the fence because of the
sharp and twisting wires.
Sighing in
defeat, she sits down on where she stands and looks down at the green grasses
below. Twisting and pulling it from the dirt, she stare at it blankly as her
thoughts begin to wonder about the previous and blurry night.
‘What happened
to me...I...All I did remembered was I...Being tortured by those girls...And
that...Kitten...That...Kitten...It...It died because of them!’ Rin thought
angrily as warm tears flow from her eyes down to her pale and bruised cheeks.
‘That
kitten...It didn’t do anything wrong! Why did that poor innocent kitten get
hurt! I rather die for that kitten then seeing it...Dies being squash by those
monsters!’ she scream in her thoughts as anger and agony starts to burn in her
heart.
“They will pay
for this!” scream Rin in agony as she clutches the grasses below tightly in her
palms.
“But they already...” replies a voice as it echoes in her ears.
Looking all
around with her wide eyes, she slowly stands up as her breath begins to
shallow.
“W-Who’s
there...” ask Rin as her voice trembles.
“Hehehe... I’m nobody...” replies the voice in chuckles.
“D-Don’t play around!
W-Where are you! Show yourself, coward!” shouts Rin as she searches for some
movement.
“Hehehe, I’m not a coward~ you are~!” says the voice as it echoes around Rin.
Shutting her
ears with both of her hands, she looks around but nobody was there.
“Where are you,
tell me!” shouts Rin in anger as she bits down on her bottom lip.
“Beside you...Around you...Inside you!” reply the voice in a deep tone as it echoes.
Hearing such a
reply, Rin’s eyes widen as she looks around and fall to the grassy ground,
breathing heavily as she places her hand on her chest to calm down.
“What’s wrong~? Did I scare you? I’m sorry~” apologise the voice while laughing madly as it rings in
Rin’s ears.
“But I did help you kill them...Aren’t you glad that
they are all dead now...”
says the voice in a serious tone as Rin could feel a presence nearby.
“I...Wait...You
killed them!? How can that be possible?” ask Rin in puzzle as she begins to relax.
“Simple...But it’s a secret~ Hehehe.” replies the voice as it laughs madly.
Knowing the
‘stranger’ wouldn’t tell her how he or she killed her bullies, she just shrug
off the curious thought and stand up from her fall as she pats off the grasses
from her dirty purple gown.
“Where are you going? Don’t you want to know who I am?” seduce the voice as it echoes once more.
“Maybe you could
tell me when you are ready and...I’m going back home to my Snow.” says Rin
nodding as she walks beside the fence to search for a way out.
“Hmmm... I like you already, hehehe. And to tell you
the truth, there is no way out from these woods. There is no...EXIT!” reply the voice as it continues to laugh madly making
Rin a bit annoyed from the now nonsense laughter.
“Would you mind
and stop your laughing. You’re bugging my thinking.” grumbles Rin as she looks
around the fences. Thinking that might the voice that she hears could be right
about the way out from here...That is... There is no way out... But how did she
get in here if there is no way out?
Questioning
herself that, she looks up at the light blue sky and sighs heavily.
‘I hope Snow
will be alright.’ she thought worriedly as she lies down on the grassy ground,
admitting defeat for trying to escape from this place.
“Giving up already~? I thought you want to see Snow
again~” says the voice
as it getting louder than before.
“I’ll find a way
out... I just need some rest that’s all...” replies Rin to the voice as she
closes her eyes and empty her mind to help her to go to sleep.
“Sleep...Sleep is all you need...But when you are trap
in the darkness forever, you will regret that you had ever sleep hehehe.” laughs the voice madly.
Hearing those
last spoken words, Rin begins to drift into a deep sleep as she could feel a
cold and light wind brushes her cheeks.
~*~
“Hey...Wake up already!” yells the voice in anger as it echoes.
Groaning from
hearing such annoying wake up call, Rin slowly open her eyes as she could hear
Crickets playing their songs and cold wind blowing her front hair as she
slightly shiver from the sudden chill.
“Finally...I thought you’re a dead sleeper. Now get up
before I kick your sense away!” grumbles the voice as Rin just sighs and nod for a respond.
She stands up
and pats off some grasses that stick on her dark purple gown as she grumbles
about the filth on her favourite gown. After cleaning it, she looks around at
the now dark woods that surrounds her as she gulp in slight fear.
“W-Why is it so
dark...? W-Wasn’t it supposed to be bright...?” she asks in her trembling voice
as she slowly walks into the woods.
“That’s because you overslept, idiot. Now look what
you had done, sleep until night fall...Congratulation! I hope you have cat eyes
to see in the dark.” says
the voice in irritated tone as Rin could hear someone clapping their hands near
her ears.
“...I’m going
crazy...I’m going crazy...” mumbles Rin as she clenches her fists tightly.
“Dawh~ don’t be mad...Besides that...Aren’t you crazy
from the start? Hehehe...You created me~ Why deny it now~?” replies the voice as it giggles in delight.
“I...I created
you...?” ask Rin as she stops her track and looks down on her boots. Looking up
again, she shakes her head and yells out her thought. “No! I didn’t create
anything but my art! How could I possibly create you! Maybe you’re mistaken for
someone else!” protest Rin as she begins to walk again but slower this time
while grumbling.
“Oho~ you don’t want to admit that you created me, do
you~? Well, have it your own way then. But remember this...You can’t get rid of
me no matter what and you’ll thank me later for what I had done to you. Deal
with it.” respond the
voice in a deep tone as it laughs hysterically making Rin’s hair neck stands.
‘I really do
need to get out from this place!’ thought Rin in slight panic as she begins to
run further in the woods without any light in her possession.
Running without
any lead, she bumps into something hard as she lands on her back, grumbling
about the sudden block and pain that went through her back.
“Urgh...O-Ouch...”
she mutters as she rubs her back to ease the pain.
“Hey watch it! Do you have any idea how hurtful that
was!? DO YOU!?” yells the
voice in anger and agony as it mumbles something else that Rin could not
understand.
“S-Sorry...”
apologise Rin as she gets up and stare at the thing in front of her.
Reaching her
hand out slowly to it, she feels something like a fabric material brushing to
her palm. Quickly, retrieving her hand back as she places it near to her chest,
she slowly backs away as her breath begins to shallow while her body trembles
in fear.
“Run...RUN!” scream the voice.
Hearing the
sudden command from unknown voice, she quickly turns her heels and run as fast
as she could as the grasses below her feet rustles.
“W-What was
that!” scream Rin as she pants while still running like a mad man.
“THAT! I DON”T KNOW! But I sense something bad from
it! SO JUST SHUT UP AND RUN!” screams the voice back as mumbles something else under its breath.
“Haa...Haa...Haa...Haa—”
pants Rin as her feet wobbles, making her body falls to ground with a heavy
thud.
Huffing for air,
she closes her eyes and imagines herself in a beautiful place as she begins to
feel calm and sleepy for a moment until a voice come out of nowhere and scream
to snap her back into the harsh and scary reality.
“WAKE UP! DON’T YOU DARE DILLY DALLY LIKE THIS IS YOUR
HOUSE! YOU’RE GOING TO GET US BOTH KILLED IF YOU KEEP THIS UP, FOOL!” screams the voice in anger as Rin could feel something
tugging her up to stand on her two feet again.
Feeling her feet
quiver from such sudden fright, she slowly walks away from that place as she
could see frightening looking trees surrounds her.
“W-Where we
should go now...?” ask Rin in whisper as she hurries her steps, not wanting to
bump with something else.
“How should I know? I can’t even see in the dark you
know...Maybe just go straight up ahead!” replies the voice as it laughs madly again.
“Right...Would
you mind stop...Laughing?! Seriously, what’s with the creepy laughter anyway?”
grumbles Rin as she jogs to where the voice told her to went.
“It shows that I’m happy~! Now...Move it! I’m sensing
something...” says the
voice as Rin could feel her heartbeat beats faster from the scare and running.
Looking down at
the ground while jogging without any direction, Rin starts to hum her favourite
song softly as she could feel herself calming down even though in such critical
situation.
“Seriously...? Humming...? What are you, a child? No
wonder the girls love to bully you the whole year.” state the voice mockingly as it laughs more.
“S-Shut up!”
whisper Rin under her breath as she begins to run without knowing it.
“Oh, I’m scared~! What are you going to do about it?
Cry to your mommy? Oh wait...Your mommy isn’t here right now~! Ahahaha!” laughs the voice more as Rin begins to feel her anger
leaking out again.
“Seriously,
you’re acting like a! A! Raaaagghhhh!” screams Rin frustrated as she runs even
faster than before, passing trees that she almost hit.
“Hey! Slow down, you dolt! You’re going to crash into
something if you keep this up!” screams the voice.
Ignoring the screaming
warning echoing through her ears, Rin suddenly crash into something as she
stumbles back, landing on her arse.
“O-Ouch...”
grumbles Rin as she rubs her arse to slightly ease the pain from throbbing
anymore hurtful.
“Yeah...Ouch...Um...What was that word again...Oh
yeah...IN YOUR FACE! I DID tell you to slow down, oh but no you don’t want to
slow down...And now look! We both are hurt in the arse because of your
carelessness...” complains
the voice as Rin could hear a slight whimper coming from the voice.
“Well...So-rry!”
hiss Rin in whisper as she stands up and pats off some dirt from her gown.
Hearing some
light rustling around her, Rin eyes widen as she drops her cleaning act and
looks around wildly to find the source. Seeing nothing but only glimpse of
shadows moving about, her legs begin to tremble as fear begins to consume her
mind and heart.
As her whole
body trembles in fright, she feels a sudden pressure on her left shoulder.
Turning back slowly on her heels, she could see a tall dark shadowy figure
standing in front of her only inches apart.
Breathing
heavily to calm herself down, Rin takes a few steps back as the figure only
stands there, watching every movement that she makes.
“S-Stay away!”
says Rin in a trembling voice as she backs away slowly from the creature.
Blinking a few times, the figure in front of
her suddenly vanishes without a trace.
‘Huh? W-Where
did that thing gone too!?’ thought Rin anxiously as she turns on her back
slowly, checking if there is something behind her.
“N-No...Nothing...”
whisper Rin fearfully as she giggle slightly and continues her journey.
“H-Hey...A-Are
you t-there...?” whisper Rin again as she hugs herself while walking in the
cold dark night.
Nothing, there
is no response from the mysterious voice. She opens her mouth and tries again.
“V-Voice...?
A-Are you there...?” ask Rin as she shivers from the cold wind blowing from her
back.
“. . . What is it . . .? What do you want...” says the voice in a deep dark tone.
“...I...I’m
sorry for hurting your feelings...” apologize Rin as she looks down while
walking.
“. . . Alright then, I forgive your absurd act...And
don’t call me ‘Voice’, I don’t like it.” says the voice again as Rin lightly chuckles and nod
for an agreement.
“Alright then,
what should I call you? Do you have any suggestion on your ‘mind’?” ask Rin
while looking around to avoid another surprise attack.
“Hmm...Not yet, but maybe...Perhaps maybe you could
help me figure my name~” replies
the voice as it laughs madly, making Rin having another goose bumps.
“O-Okay...So...What
do you...Normally do all day? I mean...Other than being in my head talking to
me...” ask Rin as she takes a right turn, following a dark reddish brown path.
“Let see here...Hmm...I usually eat a lot and for your
information my dearest Rin, I... AM... YOU...Well, half of you of course. I
only exist in your mind.” explains
the voice as Rin could hear it grumbling about something.
“. . . You only
exist in my mind? Preposterous! If you are in my head then how could you kill
the girls? I mean, come on! That doesn’t make any sense at all.” says Rin as
she shakes her head in disbelief.
“Oh~ you don’t believe me? Oh wait, I am you...I mean,
you don’t believe yourself? Well then, it is simple...But I won’t tell you
because it’s a secret. Hushhhh~!” replies the voice while making an eerily ‘hushing’ sound.
Sighing in
defeat, Rin lifts both of her hands up and admits defeat to the voice. Hearing
the voice laughing hysterically echoing through her ears, she would say that it
is happy for some reason, which is good.
“Alright then, you
win. Hmm . . . And that gives me an idea.” chuckles Rin as she continues to
walk while looking on the ground.
“And that is~?” ask the voice eagerly.
“That is...Your
name silly~! Since you love to kill and laughs like a total maniac, I think I
should name you...Insane Psyko Mördare. Like that?” ask Rin as she giggles
softly under her warm breath.
“Huh! Like it?! I LOVE IT! It suits me! You really do
can be useful sometimes.”
replies Insane as she laughs hysterically like the usual.
“I’m happy to
hear that~! Um, do you know where are we going now...? I think we’re
lost...Again...” utter Rin as she looks back up to the road seeing only greeted
by the darkness once more.
“I...Hmm...I can barely see anything either. I think
you should just keep walking—” and gets cut off by Rin as she snaps.
“Until the sun
rises, is that what you want? I mean come on, Insane. I’m tired and I’m hungry!
I haven’t eaten anything since this morning!” snarls Rin as her temper begins
to boil.
“NO! What I meant to say is! Until we find a safe
place to stay in! Now control your anger woman before you kill something
without any second thought!”
yells Insane as she grumbles and curses under her breath.
Grumbling and
cursing like Insane, Rin starts to pick up a pace as she starts to jog while
following the dark reddish pathway.
After what it
feels like minutes on following the pathway, it finally ends as Rin sees an old
abandon building still standing firmly on the ground even though the paint is
already fades out.
“Told you so that there is place we could stay in for
a night.” mocks Insane as
she laughs.
Judging from the
look of the building, seeing the windows are being secure with steel bars on
the top side of the building. Rin shakes her head slightly as she takes a few
steps away mumbling something that Insane could not catch on.
“What is it?” ask Insane as she could feel Rin’s fear slightly
building up again.
“T-This
is...This is a...An A-Asylum!” utter Rin in her trembling voice.
“So? There’s nothing here! Besides that, we can hide
in here if we’re in trouble~” says Insane.
Looking at the
entrance of the abandon building, Rin somehow could feel something but pushes
it aside as her eyes begin to feel heavy again. Without having another second
thought, Rin walks into the building as she pushes the entrance door open as it
creeks throughout the empty hallways.
“This place is a mess! But your room is even worst
then this! Hehehe!” laughs
Insane.
“Yeah, right.”
mutter Rin under her breath as she walks to the reception counter and search
for the building’s map.
Finding nothing
but the patient information files scatter on the counter, Rin takes a few of
them as she hums while examining the names on each of the files.
Tossing back
some of useless files onto the counter without giving it any second chance, her
eyes then glue to the last file as she reads out the words on the file out
loud.
“Patient 032654,
Je...Um...Jeeee—” and gets cut off by Insane.
“Could you just give it a rest, already? I thought you
were tired! Now move your arse and find a good place to sleep before I knock
you out!” warns Insane as
she grumbles.
“Okay, okay. I’m
sorry, let’s go then~” says Rin smiling as she takes the file along with her
and walks away from the reception counter, choosing the right side of the
hallway to continue her walk.
“Hey Insane, can
you read this?” ask Rin as she brings up the file and look at it.
“Hmm...Y-No, too smudgy! I can’t read it because of
the damn dark stain covering the words.” complains Insane angrily as she curses the stain under
her breath.
“Yeah...Me
too...But, I wonder who is this ‘Je’ person anyway.” ask Rin as she touches the
dark stain on the file while walking without a care.
“OI OI! Watch out!” screams Insane as she braces herself for impact.
“Huh?” was Rin
manages to utter before she falls to the hard and cold floor beneath after getting
trip by the wheelchair’s footrest.
Grunting in
pain, she forces herself to get up as she looks down at the file on her tight
gripping hand.
‘Safe.’ thought
Rin in relief as she continues to walk along the dark and eerie hallway,
hearing only her footsteps echoes throughout the hallway.
“Over there...” says Insane as Rin glance over to the close door at
the end of the hallway.
“O-Okay...”
replies Rin as she nods and walks to the door. Grabbing onto the cold door
handler and presses it down with a bit force as she pushes the door open with a
creek.
Creeping into
the room with cautious, Rin looks around in the dark as she could feel the
ground beneath her is soft like a pillow.
‘Soft?’ she asks
herself as she crouches down and touches it.
“It’s...Cushion?”
says Rin with a puzzled face.
“What do you aspect from an Asylum? Luxurious bedroom?” tease Insane as she laughs hysterically.
“Yeah...Well...No...But
at least we could sleep in here for tonight.” mutter Rin under her breath as
she closes the door behind her and walks to the left side corner of the room.
Sitting on the
cushion floor beneath her, she lies down as she stares up at the cushion
ceiling. Sighing heavily, she slowly closes her eyelids and tries to go to some
rest as her mind replays the horrible incident over and over again.
Gasping, Rin
quickly sits up and looks around her as she could feel her hands shake.
“What now...” mutter Insane as Rin could hear her yawning.
“I...Uh...It’s...It’s
nothing. I think I just can’t sleep...That’s all.” replies Rin as she looks
down and bring her knees up to her chest while resting her head on it.
“...Seeing the nightmares again...?” ask Insane softly.
“Y-Yeah...”
replies Rin while staring down at the old file next to her left foot.
“...Get some sleep if you’re tired...” says Insane quietly as Rin only nod for a reply.
Picking up the
file from the floor beneath, Rin opens the file as she sees medical records secure
with an old and rusty paper clip.
Reading the
papers with full interest, she learns that the patient had suffered from a
mental illness that cause a massive impact to the patient to suffered from a
realistic hallucination.
“The patient always screams in agony and horror about a creature that is
described as 7 feet tall with skin as white as snow and its face was
expressionless from the lack of face. After describing the same thing for a few
weeks, the patient somehow vanishes from the padded room, leaving only blood
splattering everywhere in the room.”
‘Vanishes?! W-Wha...H-How did the patient just
vanishes from a seal padded room?’ thought Rin as she turns to the next page.
The paper got cover in dried stain as the ink on the paper fades.
“Darn it...” curse Rin under her breath as she throws
the file away to release her frustration.
“Just get some sleep
already!” groans Insane frustrated.
“Fine...” mumbles Rin as she lies back down and closes
her eyes once more.
~*~
Opening every door in the hallway, the figure then
reaches out its hand and opens the last door at the end of the hallway. As the
door creeks open, the figure steps in as it closes the door behind quietly.
“Hmmm... What do we have here~?” says the figure as it
smiles widely. Taking out a weapon from its hoodie’s pocket, the figure then
quietly creeps closer to Rin’s motionless body.
“She’s asleep, isn’t that nice~? Well then, this won’t
feel a thing.” whispers the figure as it grins sinisterly. Crouching next to
Rin’s motionless body, the figure lifts up its weapon up high while staring at
Rin’s pale face that are cover by her long black front hair.
A widely grin forms on Rin’s lips as she giggles and
laughs.
“Hmm?” says the figure as it stares closely to Rin’s
face.
Grasping onto the figure’s hoodie instantly, Rin’s covered
face looks up at the figure as her grin turns into a widely sinister smile. She
then pulls the figure down with all her strength, making the figure lands on
the floor beneath.
The figure gasp and growls as it lands on the floor.
On top of the figure, Rin smiles widely as she holds down both of the figures
hands.
“Heeellloooooo~” says Rin with her spine chilling
voice.
“Going to kill me brat?” ask the figure as it smiles.
Rin looks closer at the figure’s face as she could see
a pale skin and a long black hair covering the face. Seeing a smile curve upon
the figure’s lips, Rin reaches out to the figure’s face and removes the
figure’s hair from covering its face.
Seeing the pierce staring eyes and a wide curve
smile’s cut across the figure’s cheeks, Rin’s eyes widen as her mouth slightly
parts.
“Hmmm~? What’s wrong~? Don’t I look....Beautiful~?” says the figure as he
quickly pushes Rin and flips her down to the ground, holding her arms tightly
to prevent her from escaping.
Grunting from the sudden movement towards her body, Rin
lowly growls under her breath as she glares up to the figure’s face while the
figure only continue to smile on top of her.
“Usually, when someone sees me they scream and run.
But for you missy...I wonder...Why won’t you scream and run like the others? Do
you have something stupid in your mind for not running from a dangerous
killer?” ask the figure as he leans down until Rin could feel his breath just
apart from her own.
Hearing the words that the figure said, Rin starts to
laugh hysterically as the figure only watches her silently with a puzzling
face.
“Ahahaha! Please, don’t make such a joke lad. Why
should I run from you? Is it only because you are a murderer?” laughs Rin more
as she tilts her head and looks away from the figure above her.
Seeing Rin removing her view from the figure, he grab
onto Rin’s chin as he tilts her face back to his. Staring at her without even
blinking for a second or two, the figure reaches out for his second knife and
holds it down onto Rin’s expose neck.
“If you don’t know me, maybe I should introduce myself
to you... The name’s Jeff and this will be fun killing you in this position.”
the man chuckle.
“My name is Insane, nice to meet you.” giggles Insane
as she smiles widely to the man above her.
“...You’re a weird one aren’t you, you’re not scared
to die~?” ask Jeff as he removes the knife to Rin’s cheek.
“Why should I fear death if I am Death?” replies
Insane plainly as she stares back to Jeff that is now out of words.
Staring each other for a while, finally Jeff gets up
from his victim as he steps a few back.
“This is so boring.” groans Jeff as he places back his
knife into his hoodie’s pocket.
“If you’re
bored, go and kill someone else.” replies Insane as she reaches out to Jeff’s
knife on the floor and grabs on it.
Staring at the dry blooded knife on her grip, Insane
gently caress the blade with her fingers as her reflection reflects on the
knife’s blade.
“Seems that you love my knife, huh?” says Jeff as he
crouches down in front of Insane as he gently grabs back his knife and puts it
back to where it belongs.
“What time is it...” mumbles Insane as she looks down
to the floor.
“Don’t know...Don’t care...Hey, are you planning to
stay here?” ask Jeff as he stares at Insane incredibly long hair.
“Hmmm....Just for tonight and then both Rin and I will
walk away from this place....Hopefully...” laughs Insane as she lies back down
onto the soft floor.
“Sleeping?” ask Jeff as he just keeps staring with his
wide eyes.
“No...Thinking....” replies Insane as she closes her
eyes and opens them again.
“Bored?” ask Jeff as he looks down to his sneakers.
“Yup...Hungry too...” mumble Insane as she sits back
up and stares at Jeff’s face.
“This might sound crazy but....Do you want to
kill...?” ask Jeff hesitantly while meeting his eyes with Insane’s.
“...Yeah, sure...I would LOVE to hehehe.” giggles
Insane as she stands up and walks to the closed door.
“Wait? You don’t find it kind of like creepy or
something?” says Jeff as he follows Insane from behind.
“Nope, I think killing is fun. Besides, I need
food...” replies Insane as she nods her head while speaking the truth.
“Any weapon?” ask Jeff again as he places his hands in
his hoodie’s pockets.
“Y-No...I threw it away.” grumbles Insane as she opens
the door and walks out while cursing herself under her breath.
“Want to borrow mine?’ says Jeff as he just looks
Insane’s back, focusing on her long waist length hair.
“Nah, I’ll find something to kill with...” laughs
Insane as she begins to run to the entrance door.
“Yeah— what the!” mumbles Jeff as he runs after
Insane, following her to the entrance door.
‘Finally, I can kill people! OH! THIS IS SO GOING TO
BE SO MUCH FUN!’ thought Insane as she laughs madly along the way.
Labels: creepypasta, Horror, Jeff The Killer, Multi personal disorder, tradegy